


I never meant to lose you

by FrostyTundra01



Category: Christian Bible, Christian Bible (New Testament), Christian Bible (Old Testament)
Genre: (But not european), And trans, Angels forgot, Angst, Anyways, Because I'm actually an athiest, But I'm gay, But at least I actually tag my fics, But he trusts god, Fallen Angels, Gabriel is a bean, God bashing, God is a jerk in this, Heavy Angst, Hell isnt that bad, Homophobia, Hurt Lucifer, Hurt/Comfort, Lucifer kind of decides, M/M, More like its just here to bash god, The Fall - Freeform, Unless like you murder, Who was raised in a chistian household, and homophobic, i guess, kind of, like a lot, like a lot of it, so that's fun, these tags are a mess, uh enjoy?, vent fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:47:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27049684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrostyTundra01/pseuds/FrostyTundra01
Summary: Lucifer was an angel, he was born an angel, to serve God and live to be a servant, he was one of God's best as well. Gabriel was another angel, kind, loving, and of course another of God's highest angels. Since day one the two were close, chatting, shaping stars, whatever they did, they did together, they always knew that would be, it had to. Lucifer was a bit mischievous, he was the one to create pranks and snuck into God's libraries of knowledge. Gabriel warned him, but in every endeavor the angel followed, though never participated. He worried of course but believed it could never be that bad.Then Lucifer rebelled.This work bashes God, like a lot, I mean this was technically a vent fix at first so if that bothers you just- don't read it.
Relationships: Gabriel/Lucifer
Kudos: 6





	I never meant to lose you

"I never wanted this, never wanted to lose you yet... He did, didn't he?"

Lucifer was an angel, he was born an angel, to serve God and live to be a servant, he was one of God's best as well. Gabriel was another angel, kind, loving, and of course another of God's highest angels. Since day one the two were close, chatting, shaping stars, whatever they did, they did together, they always knew that would be, it had to. Lucifer was a bit mischievous, he was the one to create pranks and snuck into God's libraries of knowledge. Gabriel warned him, but in every endeavor the angel followed, though never participated. He worried of course but believed it could never be that bad.

Then Lucifer rebelled.

Lucifer scowled looking over the kingdom he had crafted, angels had crafted, God used them and then took the credit, he had the ideas sure but he was a lazy bastard. He knew many were content but others... Others had to agree. Gabriel… Gabriel had to agree. He would confront God, force him to treat them right, not like... Dirty slaves. He was an angel godamnit, they made his stars, they made his world, they were the creators, not him, never him.

He walked into the castle shaking his head, he would deal with it later, he was going to spend time with Gabriel, fly around heaven chatting for a bit, it would be nice, get his mind off things. He spread his wings flying up to the blonde's room and knocking on the door. Faint rustling could be heard inside before the other opened the door smiling gently at the other his own wings fluttering softly. He seemed slightly tired and ruffled with a simple robe thrown on own his shoulder and tied around his waist.

"Oh hello Lucifer, I didn't expect you this early." He rubbed his eyes

Lucifer shrugged his wings folding against his back, "Woke up early, knew we were already going on a flight so thought I might as well wake you up."

"Well I can't say I mind, let me just get my flying robes and we can head off."

As the other went inside Lucifer leaned against the wall, ignoring Michael as he flew by and sent a dirty look at him. He knew the other didn't particularly like him but he didn't really mind it, after all as long as he had Gabriel by his side things would be fine. As the other was changing Lucy wondered if he should reveal his plan, it was in an infancy stage but he could get good insight from Gabriel. Though he wondered how loyal to God the other was, the last thing he wanted to do was lose the other, they were closer than anyone else was he would just have to figure that out later. Besides, it would be months before he actually had a plan, he didn't have to bring it up now.

Gabriel walked out of his room the proper robes on. He was cheerful, clearly less tired before likely getting a quick burst of energy. While angels had to sleep they could still wake up or get more energy fro different things God created to boost productivity. Lucifer was never fond of them but Gabriel used them often to work as hard as he possibly could. He reasoned it was better to work than to rest though Lucifer worried for him often that he worked himself too hard. None the less he was ready to fly.

"Are you ready to go?" Lucifer said grinning.

"Certainly," Gabriel smiled back though his more gentle like a warm sunbeam.

Lucifer spread his wings running a hand through his jet black hair before taking off, not spending any time waiting for Gabriel to follow behind. He soared into the sky with the other falling behind enjoying the freedom of flying. Gabriel fell to his side and as Lucy looked over he could see sunbeams bouncing off his wings. He almost had a soft glow to him, something Lucy never saw before. It was... perfect, as Gabriel always was of course yet he had never noticed it before, never seen that... glow to him.

"LUCY WATCH OUT!"

Aaaanndd he crashed into the wall, of course he did. He stood up brushing off his clothes and learned his wings for and stray feathers he could find.

Gabriel landed next to him, looking like he was split between worrying and laughing, "Are you alright?"

Lucifer chuckled himself, already upright and fine as he looked at the other, "I'm perfectly fine Gabriel, just uh- g-got distracted."

The other smiled and sighed, clearly relieved as he shook his head, "Let me fix your wings, they are clearly messed up by that fall."

Lucifer chuckled spreading out his wings and letting the other preen them, sitting down so it would be easier. Gabriel's hands were soft on his feathers, working dutifully to smooth them out, it was nice though not uncommon between the two. Once his wings were back to normal he stood up, holding his hand out for the other. 

They took back off and he almost forgot what had distracted him in the first place, almost, he didn't know how he had felt that way, he was an angel. They were made to feel love sure, but general love for God's creations, their creations rather. Yet... the way the other was so graceful, so kind as he interacted with everything, the way he sang to the birds in that harmonic tune, like a river flowing gently through the mountains. Why did he feel like this? Why did he feel like this towards another angel, a male one at that, he couldn't understand it, he rebelled against God, yet he couldn't deny how he was made, yet the other...

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Gabriel had enjoyed that morning, slept for a while, being woken up to Lucy knocking on his door. He had then gotten his proper robes on and they had gone for a fly. It was casual if not a little interrupted by Lucifer crashing into a wall. He helped the other up and after fixing his wings they had taken off again. After that they had gone into the more common areas rather than the castle God and the archangels inhabited. A few cherubs and younger angels were playing together as others chatted lively with each other. It was nice as the center of heaven always was, though he did tend to enjoy earth now as well. God hadn't placed humans there yet, them being his own personal project, but plants, birds, and fish inhabited the land none the less.

Walking around with Lucifer he greeted several angels that passed by, he knew most of them spending a lot of time here with the other. They walked for a while before coming up to the gate between earth and heaven, he walked through grabbing the other's hand before they flew down. They were going to visit the garden currently set up for the humans. It was peaceful, birds of all kinds dotting the sky, fish swimming in the rivers and lakes, and of course various land animals. He greeted them all as he usually did, not noticing the fond smile it brought Lucifer. Oh how he loved the garden.

The two really were just here to relax and talk, not many things needed to be made now that God was working on the humans. It was nice finally having a break, being able to talk with his friend.

They flew up to the wall looking over everything, wings fluttering ever so gently in the breeze. He loved the paradise that was Eden, loved how everything was so perfectly crafted. It was nice though... Looking at his companion he almost felt more happy. It felt wrong yet, right at the same time, it couldn't be love, but it was nice, perhaps he would ask God or Michael about it later.

As the two sat there Gabriel looked up, before turning to Lucifer, eyes curious as they always were, "What do you think the humans will look like?"

"Like us I suppose," Lucifer responded, "Or maybe like God, after all they are supposed to be in his image. I don't think they'll have wings though. Once they're here maybe we can give them a fly around so they know what the sky is like, after all flying really is an experience."

Gabriel hummed, "That would be nice."

\----------------------------------------------------------------

Once the two were back to heaven Gabriel remembered the happy and almost giddy feeling he got from being by Lucifer. He headed back to the palace to talk to God about it, after all he was the all knowing one and if anyone could tell him what that feeling was it would be God. Getting there he walked up to the chambers waiting till God gave him permission to go in. 

Walking in he bowed down, kneeling with head all the way to the floor, he kept like that for a few seconds before getting back up.

God sat in his throne looking like he already knew what Gabriel was here to talk about, being that he was God he did know if course, and Gabriel almost recoiled at the sharp look in his eyes, "What is it Gabriel?"

"Lord, I come to you searching for answers, I felt something around Lucifer like the joy I feel from your love that reaches all of us. I don't quite understand why I feel that or what that feeling is."

_"That,_ Gabriel was love. Something you should not have felt for him."

Gabriel seemed confused, "Of course I love him, it is how a brother should love another brother."

God continued to be stern, looking at Gabriel with scrutinizing eyes, "That is not a brotherly love but rather a love I have reserved for a human female and a human male, not for angels and much less for two male angels."

Gabriel's eyes widened at that realization, "Lord how can I feel that way for Lucifer, I was designed and Angel to only serve you, not to be... Tempted."

God's tone softened like that of a father not wanting a child to grasp the harsh reality of a punishment disguised as love, "It is only your nature, however, I must forbid you from talking to Lucifer from now on."

Gabriel paused for a moment looking like he was going to argue but none the less fell quiet and nodded, "Of course Lord, you know what is best, I won't talk to Lucifer from now on."

Gabriel walked out of the room steering clear from everyone and went to his room. Tear threatened to call from his eyes but he held them in quietly going inside as to not draw attention. Looking around his room he was the various gifts Lucifer had given him, flower crowns, drawings, and various hymns. He took it all with hesitation weighing on him and discarded of it, knowing God would not want him to keep reminders of him. Every object thrown away hurt but none the less he knew it was what he had to do.

If he sobbed into his bedsheets that night that was his own knowledge.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lucifer realized how he felt and he felt like he wanted to fly, he could of course but that was besides the point, he was in love! He hadn't understood it before but being an angel, Gabriel being male, it didn't matter he loved him.

They spent years together, they were inseparable, those years he knew there had always been something budding him. Of course the veil God put there had hidden that, had hidden a lot but he was through it and he was going to tell Gabriel. If the other would have him they would be together.

He danced around his room still cherishing the love that filled every part of his body like a song that just couldn't stay inside. He had to tell Gabriel, confess this bursting love that filled every bone of his body. He wanted to share this love, share it with the one that had inspired the dance that fluttered around his soul. He wanted another to feel that love and for them to share love between each other. He didn't want just anyone though, he wanted Gabriel, the most perfect angel he knew.

He went to Gabriel's part of the castle, fluttering rather than flying, he was dancing on air, thought jumbled all for the fact he loved the angel. Knocking on the door he felt giddy though it died down seeing how tired and almost scared the other looked.

"Gabriel, are you alright?" He asked, concern heavy in his voice.

"I'm fine, I just... C-can't talk right now."

Lucifer seemed still concerned but grabbed the door, "Wait I need to tell you something!"

Gabriel, still almost scared none the less stood there, "What is it Lucifer?"

"I-I love you, really love you, not just brotherly love, I know it's shocking but... I hope you can love me back, it seems odd being angels but..."

Gabriel's eyes widened before his face screwed into a grimace, "no."

"W-what do you mean?"

"No, I won't love you! J-just go, I always hated you, I don't want to be neer you, you're disgusting just g-get out of my sight!"

With that Lucy's heart shattered, he stood back and looked away before growling and finding a new feeling he now recognized, hatred. "Fine." 

\-------------------------------------------------------

Lucifer hadn't seen Gabriel for months, well not really, he had passed by but... He seemed to be avoiding him. It hurt, like a spear directly hitting his heart, it really did hurt, even if the other made it clear he hated him. None the less he continued with his plan, bitter more than ever and others rose up with him. Lucifer sat in his room preparing armor he already had, he knew it could be a battle, a war; he knew that but it was worth it for respect. He wasn't just some slave to toss around, Gabriel wasn't just some slave to toss around. No, Gabriel betrayed him, he hated him, he went and avoided him, hurt him, he was just a suck up like Michael.

Lucifer went up to God, demanding respect, demanding the respect angels were due under him, angry at how things were. The booming anger coming from God was a sight to see, of course Lucy's anger was almost as great. That was when the fighting started God threw Lucifer down and he retaliated, soon both armies fought and God stepped back as Lucifer went to the balcony.

Lucifer wanted to chuckle sadly as he looked out, it started almost peaceful yet it was all but as the battle ensued. Holy rain burned on his skin as it poured down but he stood out none the less. God would send Michael after him soon, Gabriel as well he supposed.

A voice behind him almost made him jump but it wasn't what he expected, "Lucifer, what are you doing!?"

Lucifer's eyes stung with tears as he looked away from the one he thought could have loved him, "What do you want. Come here to try and kill me?"

"Please, come back, we can stop this, make everything ok again!"

Lucy growled clenching his fists and turned around growling, "No. We can't, you can't take back those words, you can't take back what you said!"

Gabriel's eyes filled up with tears before he shouted, "I LIED, I-I LOVE YOU PLEASE JUST... DON'T DO THIS, DON'T LEAVE ME!"

Lucifer's eyes widened in surprise and he reached out to the other, "R-really?"

Gabriel looked up and nodded, silent as if his scream was all the voice he had left.

"Th-that's amazing, you can become my king, we can rule together, we would be unstoppable yet we would make everything beautiful!"

Gabriel stepped back pushing him away, "I can't disobey God."

"Why not? He hurt all of us, he hurt me, he hurt you!"

"Lucifer you're being ridiculous!"

"Gabriel I-"

And that was it, God's side had won at that moment as Lucifer's resolve broke. The fall was painful, fire ripping against flesh, against wing, the perfect white wings of the angels became black like soot. Then there was the punishments, for some it was horns, others had abstract eyes, but for Lucifer he was twisted and warped, his night black hair was stained with blood horns sprouting out, his wings were fully burned leaving nothing behind, his skin was left with burn patches, he was truly the most damaged or the fallen and in that moment the fear in his angel's eyes as he fell made him believe he truly deserved it.


End file.
